• I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
  • If I said you have a beautiful body. Will you hold that against me?
  • Push to test... Release to detonate.
  • Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
  • Learning from your mistakes is smart, learning from the mistakes of others is wise.
  • Never anger a dragon, for you are crunchy and you go well with Brie.
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  • Silence is wise if we are foolish, but foolish if we are wise.
  • Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously! [Nietzsche]
  • May you live in interesting times, attract the attention of important people and may all of your dreams come true.
  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve immortality by not dying. [Woody Allen]
  • You don't win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other son-of-a-bitch die for his. [General Patton]
  • 'If I could do one thing with the world, I'd turn the entire human race into empaths. Make everybody feel everyone's pain. If we could all truly empathize with each other, there would be an immediate end to most human misery. Famines would stop as rich countries fall over themselves to send aid...'
  • All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for enough good men to do nothing. [Edmund Burke]
  • Suppose they held a war and nobody came?
  • T.V. - Why do you think they call it programming?
  • The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
  • There's a fine line between an attitude problem and thinking clearly.
  • Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? [Jules Feiffer]
  • Give me some of that old-time Religion...HAIL ZEUS!
  • I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.
  • If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
  • If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up
  • Cogito Ergo Spud. - I think therefore I yam.
  • Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. [Dumas]
  • NASA: All your space are belong to U.S.
  • A manager is a person who thinks nine women can produce a baby in one month.
  • A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way, if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. [Albert Einstein]
  • Insanity in individuals is something rare; but in groups; parties; nations; and epochs, it is the rule. [Nietzsche]
  • Kill a man, and you are an assassin. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god. [Jean Rostand]